Can you believe next week is Thanksgiving? I’m looking forward to some good food with my family, as well as the official start of the Christmas music season. I don’t want this great holiday to pass us by without diving a bit into the concept of gratitude—what I call “hope’s secret weapon.”
When all hope seems gone, lean on gratitude for all you’ve been given. It will get you through the darkest times.
From the time we were very small children, we were taught the importance of saying “please” and “thank you.” Right? It was all about manners and discipline, mostly because we are not born naturally grateful. We’re born selfish and arrogant. The lucky ones are the children that learn at an early age the value of thinking of others before yourself. While the gift of age allows a person to learn they aren’t the center of the universe, some adults still have amazingly never learned that valuable lesson. How sad!
What is the missing piece in both situations: the selfish child and the egotistical adult? I believe it is gratitude. It’s like fire and water—you can’t live your life fueled by gratitude and still be arrogant and selfish.
One of the biggest diseases of our culture is entitlement—thinking, “I deserve this or that”—even at the expense of anyone else around.
A huge (but admittedly, extremely petty) pet peeve of mine is when I go out of my way to hold the door open for someone coming in after me, and they just walk on through without acknowledging my graciousness, as if I was supposed to hold the door for them! At those times, I feel entitled to at least a smile or a thank you! I'm always tempted to say something under my breath like, "You're welcome, Queen of the Universe!" Most times I realize my sarcasm will not make that other person more grateful. Other times, I'm certain it's their only hope.
I have to realize this non-thanker might simply be shy. They might have been instructed never to talk to strangers. Or maybe they're simply in a bad mood. Some people are so busy that when they're given something nice or someone does something nice for them, they're so focused on the next thing they need to accomplish they don't even stop to say thanks.
Others simply feel entitled. They feel that others should hold the door for them. There's an expectation of preferential treatment, which breeds ungratefulness. Unfortunately, people who constantly have people catering to their every wish, often feel hurt and neglected when they don't get their way. We call them "spoiled brats." They suffer from a serious lack of gratitude. Many of these people have never had gratitude modeled for them.
Maybe you have moments of entitlement. Or maybe you're like me and you have times when you can't see any reason for hope. Whatever the case, the cure is all the same.
I believe the answer is two simple words: Thank you. How can you be truly grateful and still hold onto expectations of what you think you deserve to receive?
How Does Gratitude Change A Person?
1) Gratitude Makes A Person Happy
You can’t say thank you and really mean it without having a smile on your face. I dare you to try it! Of course, if you don’t really mean it you won’t have to smile. The truth is, it’s impossible to be grateful and unhappy. Unhappy people are driven by fear, bitterness and misery. Happy people are driven by gratitude.
2) Gratitude Makes A Person Humble
Saying thank you reveals the inner thoughts: “I’m not the source of this blessing. It came from somewhere outside of me. It’s not my fault this good thing happened.” It gives credit where credit is due. A lack of humility says: “I did it, I’m responsible for this.” Gratitude continually points at others, instead of yourself.
3) Gratitude Makes A Person Hopeful
Similar to how an optimistic person is always looking for the good in things, a grateful person is always looking for the blessing in things. Every person you meet and every circumstance you encounter is an opportunity to be blessed. Everyday is a new opportunity for something beautiful to happen. I love how Eugene Peterson writes it in Romans 8:15 of the Message saying life as a grateful person is “adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike ‘what’s next, Papa?’ kind of attitude.” A grateful person lives hopeful of continued blessings.
QUESTIONS:
1) Besides entitled, what are some other negative things you can’t be as a grateful person?
2) Besides happy, humble, and hopeful, what are other positive things that come out of being grateful?
3) Are they any good reasons to not be a grateful person?
There's no way around it: We could all stand to be more grateful. So how do we accomplish this most noble of tasks? I’d love to hear from you!
“Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint. I can choose to be grateful when I am criticized, even when my heart still responds in bitterness. I can choose to speak about goodness and beauty, even when my inner eye still looks for someone to accuse or something to call ugly.” Henri J. M. Nouwen
Fixed up, souped up and ready to inspire! “Just Watch Me” is a song I wrote (with my friend Scott Sheriff) for anyone who has ever been told they can’t do something. You can hear it on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, etc. And check out the new background vocals from Mark Heimermann.
I want to live in an attitude of gratitude!